Only fools rush in. Before you go professing your love for your new interest, make sure it’s for the right reasons. Guys and gals alike get so psyched when we find someone special that we overlook some factors that could render the relationship unhealthy!
It’s normal to look at the world through rose-colored glasses in the beginning stages of a relationship. But don’t let the euphoria blind you from recognizing if your relationship is unhealthy.
Playing nice and respecting your partner in any relationship should be a two-way street. Here are some key ingredients for a healthy relationship.
Mutual respect. Does he or she respect your views and opinions? Do they appreciate your take on things or do they criticize your ideas? Do they keep plans or set communicate changes in plans? Does your partner listen when you’re venting? Do they consider your opinions or feelings? Does he or she ask about your day and listen intently? If you are uncomfortable with something, do they tease you or minimize your feelings? These questions will help you tell if you are being respected and valued for who you are.
Trust. You’re boo sees you chatting it up with another guy or girl. Do they completely lose their cool or keep walking because they know you’d never cheat on them? Jealousy gets the best of all of us at some time or another — it is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There’s no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don’t trust one another.
Support. Is your partner front row at your basketball games or do they know the words to a song or poem that you’ve written? Being supported by your significant other is a MAJOR factor in any relationship. But it’s not just in good times that your boo should support you. Some people are great at being there for the good times but have difficulty being there when times are rough. In a healthy relationship, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on when you find out your grandmother passed away and to celebrate with you when you get the lead in a play.
Fairness/equality. You need to have give-and-take in your relationship, too. Do you find that you’re always the one making the trek to hang out with them? Or that you always have to plan outings? If so, that’s a sign that your relationship might be unhealthy. Both participants should be putting in equal effort.
Safety. This could fall under the same category as respect. But it deals more closely with respecting someone’s body and space. Does your partner grab you or restrain you when you’re trying to walk away. Does he or she strike, slap or grip you in an unwelcoming manner. Your guessed it! You’re relationship is NOT healthy and you need to get out of it.
If you’re relationship is suffering in 2 or more of these areas, you might need to reevaluate whether or not the relationship is healthy for you! The thing to remember is this: when you remain in a situation that is unhealthy, you are only training yourself to accept unhealthy and counter productive relationships! The longer you wait to get out of it, the harder it will be.
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